mayonnaise colored benz, i push miracle whips.

duncan. 28. louisville kentucky. say hi. i'm nice.

you want to bite the hand that feeds.

i want to fucking break it off.

instagram fb last.fm

my stupid face

counter on tumblr

DEAR CALIFORNIA - I WILL BE INSIDE YOU FROM OCTOBER 31ST TO NOVEMBER 10TH

Flying into LA on the 31st of Oct.

Heading to the Bay area around the 5th of Nov.

Flying home from SF/OAK on the 10th of Nov.

Let us hang.

oh thanks fedex, i didnt pay for something to have one day shipping for you to not deliver it because you said my address was incorrect. but is it? nope. your customer service even looked it up. i didn’t need the package for tonight or anything

and then you’re all “it’ll be delivered tuesday it looks like”

ONE DAY SHIPPING MY ASS. THE FUCK.

I DON’T HAVE NO TROUBLE WITH YOU FUCKIN’ ME, BUT I HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM WITH YOU NOT FUCKIN’ ME.

(Source: mdrnmstry)

The radio at work has been hella Smiths / Moz heavy today. I’ve heard 5 songs since 4am this morning.

Vague post about secret donut operations I’m doing tonight.

Anonymous asked: Get naked more?

be anon less and maybe i will. 

signalbeast asked: Have you ever been electrocuted? What's the last flavor of ice cream you ate? Are you gonna dress up for Halloween?

I have been electrocuted a couple of times. The worst was when there was some faulty wiring in this kitchen (yes, a kitchen) we were playing when one of my bands did a weekend. The outlet like fried my amp cord and shocked the hell out of me. I remember like feeling it in my arm for a few days.

I ate some cookies and cream ice cream last night along with some s’mores cookies.

Depends on if I bring a costume to LA ;) 

I will be dressing up for the birthday party we’re throwing for myself, somelittlecub, and fine—young—cannibal's birthdays though. Not sure what yet but y'all know I don't skimp on the details.

Anonymous asked: would you ever hang out with anyone you follow?

i’ve hung out with a pretty big portion of the people i follow. like i’d be willing to say maybe like 60-70% of the people i follow i’ve met?

to answer your question, yes. of course i would. 

to go with today’s theme. no weirdos please.

Anonymous asked: what is your snapchat?

ricflairwoo

no weirdos please.

ASK ME STUFF WHILE I WORK ON THIS FLYER AND DO LAUNDRY AND SEND SNAPCHATS OF ME AND MY DOG ›

I’m at the world championship bratwurst eating contest at the largest Oktoberfest celebration in America

Joey Chesnutt is competing and I’ve never seen so much weiner being shoved in someone’s mouth.

And I’m a big faggot.

white country girls be like. #oktoberfest #scrackerbarrel #zinzy #soupstoohot @chubblife @brendanshaves @derbycitybarber (at Cracker Barrel Old Country Store)

We’re staying in the Aztec Temple room tonight for @brendanshaves bachelor party. #LegendsofHiddenTurnup (at Wildwood Inn Tropical Dome & Suites)

maybe i should have stayed off the internet today.

sadangrylatina:

omg


Y’ALL

sadangrylatina:

omg

Y’ALL

(Source: vulvita, via djbulbasaur)

 
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